Don't Wear This Please!

Barf.

So I'll start with the girl in the Turqucoise hooker dress. This is the second picture I've posted where the girl is wearing a dress that I swear is from Crystal Shoes. You know how they hang those dresses in the store window? So why are so many girls buying these tacky little things? Did they have a big blow out sale, All dresses marked down to $5.99, or buy one get the second half off.. The 3 layers of ruffles reminds me of the summer dresses my mom use to buy me from Zellers in 1992, and I loved them, Not so much anymore though. Another thing, don't paint your nails the same color as your dress. Unless your dress is red and your nails are red cause red nail polish always look glamorous..Turqucoise doesn't. Don't get me wrong I love the color turqucoise, just not on nails. And get rid of those gotti variety store earrings! I'm not even being mean, they really are from the variety store. They're big, clunky and heart shaped and they sell them at the variety store downtown, I swear. I wish I could see what her shoes look like. I'll bet they're turqucoise too! No wait, I'll bet you she has running shoes on. bahaha! Ok now lets take a look at the other girl. That shirt is f'in ugly. I don't know what else to say about it. It's just plain ol' value village ugly. The only time it would be ok to wear that shirt is maybe to bed, on a grubby night when all your other sleep wear is in the wash. If the shirt had some brown in it I could maybe see why'd she'd wear it with that skirt. But it doesn't. It's green and white, blue and yellow, and that matches with a brown skirt how? It's like casual on the top, downtown hooker on the bottom. And that skirt is unflattering and very outdated. I remember when they sold those skirts at Sirens, many many summers ago.

So here's my advice to these clueless girls: Turqucoise girl, when your at a club and the promoter wants to take you picture, smile. Or even smirk. Try to look a bit happy instead of looking like your in pain. They're not taking your picture for French Vogue so you don't have to put on your most serious face... But then again if I were wearing that outfit I wouldn't be smiling either. And next time you go shopping for a club outfit try limeridge, instead of downtown. G-Unit girl, same goes for you. Stay away from the discount rack at The Jump Off downtown and try to find a decent outfit elsewhere. Oh yeah and stay away from shirts with verticle strips, they're rarely flattering.